Do it Scared
"Do not be afraid". God says it to Joshua three times within chapter one. It comes up again throughout the book: instructions that don't make any strategic sense followed by, "do not be afraid". Did God expect Joshua to lead an army around an enemy city in prayer ever day for seven days without any worry? Did he get mad if Joshua's knees trembled as he marched? Did he consider Joshua disobedient if he glanced at the walls and got scared that his vulnerable people would be attacked at any moment?
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The idea of carrying and delivering a child had always sounded terrifying, I wasn't sure I ever wanted to. After three years of marriage, we started talking about having a baby. After almost four years, we decided it was time to start trying for our first child. We didn't tell anyone about our decision. The day after we made the decision, the fear hit me. At our church's prayer night later that same day, I was praying over whether or not I was actually ready. A friend came up to me after and told me, "I don't know what you're worried about, but I feel like God wants me to tell you that whatever it is, it'll work out, and you'll be great".
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The day we decided to schedule a c-section for the baby's health, we walked out of the doctor's office, and I broke down in tears. I had to let go of the idea for my delivery that I had planned in my mind to do what we felt was best for our baby's safety. That also meant facing my fear of surgery, wide awake. Anyone who thinks having a c-section is the easy way out, is insane. The end result is miraculous, but there's no easy way out of birth. I was deep breathing trying to focus on the excitement and not the fear from the time our alarm went off at 5am until a few hours later when our baby was in my arms. Then I was scared for a whole new reason.
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I don't think God expected Joshua not to feel any fear. Being scared to be a mom doesn't make you less of a parent. Being scared to chase your dream doesn't make you less likely to be successful.
Fear doesn't take you out of the race. Feel the fear and run. Do it with arms shaking and knees trembling. Do it scared.
